"Get me to the church on tiiiiiiiime"

All within the past ... I'd say two months, I've found out a multitude of friends, current and past, are all getting married.
Pheromones, anyone?
That or they're having children all at once, and I find myself in a time where no, I wouldn't be able to support a child currently, but the idea that I wouldn't be able to have one in the future lays heavily on my shoulders. Pictured here is probably one of my best friends in the world, Eric. He's marrying a wonderful girl and I couldn't be happier for the two of them.
I've been cutting ties with people close to me, not really on purpose, but because I feel like I know where this is going, and what can happen if I don't pull up from this downward spiral.
My surgery date is set and will hopefully alleviate some of this funk I've been in.

Passing notion, and I promise, it is only a fleeting recollection:
On the first day of our senior English class, the teacher alluded to a weird statistic: suicides happen more frequently in the spring than they do on holidays. When we asked why, he said that spring always means the promise of change, and that the lack thereof, is heartbreaking.