私は彼を欠場

1. I would defend my honor if I knew where it was.
   
2. America defends the right to free speech, apparently alcohol just makes it that much more possible.
3. Tomer Hanuka is teh sex. See giant watery-tart.
   
4. Gentlemen, BEHOLD!! I need to move the fuck out of my parent's house. See list items 1 & 2.
5. Falling for someone is like quicksand; easy to get yourself into, but it really fucking sucks you in the more you try to get out.