It's hard to take you seriously when you're shaking your newly-found beergut to Van Halen on a stripper pole in a dive in Jack London Square. On a Sunday night.
This special report was brought to you by the Vicious & Stoney Brigade (on loan from LARP, Confidential), who kindly remind you, "не более глупо трахает!", and use a condom.
P.S. Just go away already, 2009. And don't let the door hit your ugly ass on the way out.
